Friday, August 20, 2010

Stephen Harper is Right. No One Knows How to Goosestep Anymore

Everyone is blaming Stevie for being a bad dictator. But I'm here to tell you that Stevie is a very good dictator. It's those around him who are to blame. They have forgotten the lost art of goosestepping.

It appears that the Harper government now needs to hire a veritable army of watchdogs that Canadian governments have institutionalized to defend the public interest against – Canadian governments. It's been one of the proudest achievements of our governance system that we the public have forced our governments to hire independent souls to ensure the public interest is not violated by them.

So we have, for a few examples among many, an RCMP complaints commissioner, a military police complaints commissioner, a Canadian nuclear safety commissioner and a veterans' ombudsman. By no coincidence at all, several of these positions have come open after the Harper government decided their appointees had a misguided concept of the public interest. Digging deeply into lessons taught by Lewis Carroll, Franz Kafka and George Orwell, as has been their practice, the Harper government has clarified exactly what it expects from these appointees: An understanding that protecting the public interest means unquestioning loyalty to the Harper government.

So instead of a traditional job interview, Herr Harper should just take them out to a parking lot and ask them to goosestep. That's all they need. They are not to think or question, and must never act on behalf of Canadian citizens.

It's that simple.

As for me. I'm now a "Goosestep Mama". Or at least I was 'til I threw out my hip.

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