Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Entire Ottawa Press Gallery is Being Dismissed as Obsolete

We learned yesterday that the Ottawa Press Gallery is being dismissed. Their jobs have become obsolete now that Stephen Harper's office is writing all of the copy and providing all of the photographs.

The job of keeping Canadians informed will now fall on Mrs. Peacock's kindergarten class.

In an exclusive interview with Pravda Ca-Na-Da, little Susie confirmed that they have learned to cut and paste and will use their new skills in all of their editorials. She is very excited, though it could be because she heard that they are having chocolate milk with their snack.

We have also learned that the little prankster Billy, is planning on breaking ranks. He was overheard on the school yard yesterday discussing how he plans to run between the legs of the RCMP officers, to try and snap a picture of the PM with his new Diego camera. Billy was unavailable for comment.

This is very good news for Canadians. We no longer have to worry about our media accidentally providing accurate accounts of events. We've learned not to expect more that kindergarten skills to be used in their jobs, so we will no longer be disappointed now that a kindergarten class is performing them.

News is that the National Post will continue to run attack ads against the Liberals, but who reads the National Post?

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