Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Conservatives Have Found a Replacement for Flaherty

And the good news is ... HE CAN COUNT!

Canadians have learned today that after the abysmal performance of Jim Flaherty, they were able to find a suitable replacement, even on such short notice.

They call him 'The Count' and without using notes or anything, he's already out performing his predecessor.

In a speech to the House of Commons today, he outlined his reasons for replacing the former finance minister, and why he would do things differently.

The Count's maiden Speech:

One.... One mistake I would not make.

Two ... Part two of the muster and bluster.

Three - Part three of the pure hogwash.

Four ... Four upset premiers.

Five ... Five minute specials ... Canada for sale.

Six ... Six Brain Cells working

Seven -- Seven say recession not mild.

Eight ... Eight eye blinks per nanosecond

Nine ... At least Nine times worse than imagined

Ten - Ten year plan?????

Big Bird is already running attack ads calling the Count an intellectual elitist who thinks he's better than everyone else simply because he can count. Our new finance minister countered by telling Big Bird he was just yellow.

Bert and Ernie were unavailable for comment. They are still reeling over Harper's views on same-sex marriage.

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