There is a growing epidemic of Conservatives missing in action and the latest rash of victims has prompted the Special Conservative Assembly to Recover Every Deserter (SCARED) to start placing photographs on milk cartons, seeking the public's help.
Julian Fantino was last seen wearing a straight-jacket and sucking his thumb in the streets of Vaughan. Conservatives Against Fantino are offering a reward for any information leading to his whereabouts.
Brian Abrams has not been seen in Kingston in months, despite the fact that there has been a great deal of protest against his party over the closing of the prison farms, and the subsequent police brutality. No one is offering a reward because no one really cares where he is.
And Julie Javier from Winnipeg North, appears to have evaporated during a debate.
This is quite a mystery, much like losing your socks in the dryer.
Canadians should be on the lookout for these missing candidates, because they could simply be stuck to the back of some one's sweater.