Sunday, August 29, 2010

Harper Government Plans to Train Beluga Whales to Drill for Oil

In a daring new pilot project, the Harper government is training Beluga Whales to drill for oil and natural gas.

Special Jack-up rigs will be towed by the Belugas and then ... wait a minute ... what? This can't be right.

But what else are we to assume? Stephen Harper, with much fanfare announced a Beluga sanctuary, after already promising the drilling rights for that same sanctuary.
The federal government has quietly left the door open to offshore oil drilling in a conservation area for beluga whales in Canada's Arctic waters that was unveiled with much fanfare by Prime Minister Stephen Harper this

On Thursday, the fourth day of his weeklong tour of the Arctic, the prime minister announced the government will establish the Tarium Niryutait Marine Protected Area, located at the mouth of the Mackenzie River in the Beaufort Sea. The Beaufort Sea region is home to one of the world's largest summer populations of belugas, which go there to feed, socialize and raise their calves.

"Today we are ensuring these Arctic treasures are preserved for generations to come," Harper told reporters in the remote town of Tuktoyaktuk, N.W.T. However, regulatory documents released by the government in April show that officials plan to set aside one per cent of the conservation area for oil and gas activities, such as exploratory drilling.
Oh well. If the Belugas bother the oil rigs, they'll just call in Gail Shea. She'll know what to do.


  1. How did Canada come to elect a prime minister who doesn't know oil and water don't mix? I certainly didn't vote for him.