While I was just starting to get used to calling our current government, the Conservative Party of Canada; I now learn that the party formerly known as the Alliance Party, formerly known as the Conservative Reform Alliance Party (CRAP. I can see why they changed that one), formerly known as the Reform Party, formerly known as the Social Credit Party; will be undergoing yet another name change.The Party of Privilege, or POP.
Tired of Canadians and the media assuming they should be conservative in handling our money, and constantly having to explain their extravagance in three words or less; the new moniker will replace the need for press conferences, scrums or indeed explanations of any kind.
We can't have government ministers risking lethal paper cuts, from invoices being shoved in their faces, or the possibility of a family feud when it's discovered that they gave jobs to some family members and not others.
OTTAWA - The children and siblings of some Conservative MPs have found work on Parliament Hill in the offices of other Tory parliamentarians, a review of government records shows. Under House of Commons rules, MPs are not allowed to employ their spouses or children. But there is nothing to stop MPs from hiring family members of their caucus colleagues and paying them from their parliamentary budgets.
When Canada was a democracy we'd have to trouble ourselves with asking the prime minister about this, but fortunately we are no longer required to, because we have no democracy or prime minister, only a self appointed dictator and a one party state: The Party of Privilege.
There is a new set of rules that now apply. Their long list of entitlements include:
Giving all the best government jobs to cronies: POP!
Lying about a 2004 coalition attempt: POP!
Creating a dizzying array of lobbyists who move in and out of government, and can even determine how much money they themselves can take: POP!
Having the media beat up by the RCMP if they dare to ask a question: POP!
Creating a 200 page manual on how to disrupt Parliamentary Committees investigating your wrongdoing: POP!
Lying about income trusts, robbing seniors 'of their hard earned nest eggs': POP!
Using unprecedented amounts of tax dollars on party strategic polling: POP!
Obviously transferring money from us into their own bank accounts to write big cardboard cheques, signed by them with party logo: POP!
Unprecedented abuse of military and executive jets: POP!
Using our money for their own fundraisers: POP!
Pork Barrelling for votes: POP!
Indoctrinating public servant job applicants to their party: POP!
Trying to bribe a dying man for his vote: POP!
Removing all of the historical portraits of past prime ministers and replacing them with snapshots of the exalted one: POP!
Exploiting immigrant communities through stereotyping: POP
Living large while preaching restraint: POP!
Changing records to cover up misdeeds: POP!
Personally, I prefer a one party state, because we no longer have to vote or care, or worry about where our money is going. And if we are haunted by faded memories of a nice peaceful country, where all citizens were treated equal; not to worry. The exalted one will reward us with another highly choreographed photo-op and we'll smile.
Hail King Stephen and heaven help us all.
