Thursday, July 24, 2014
Prime Minister Said he Created a Million Jobs ... Oh! You Thought I Meant Our Prime Minister
What I've discovered, in this mostly conservative sphere, is that the top news stories, no matter where they originate, are eerily similar. In fact, I often have to rely on the media source to assign it to a nation.
One headline that's popping up everywhere, contains the phrase "million jobs".
In the last Ontario election, Conservative candidate Tim Hudak, gave the term a life of its own, when he presented his Million Jobs plan, worked out on an abacus that was missing a few beads.
I think we can all agree that Tim Hudak is a few beads short of an abacus, but he did give us a new slogan "Hudak Math", that replaces things like "defies logic", "utterly senseless" and "you stupid moron".
One headline, while a bit older, comes from the UK Guardian, asking if British Prime Minister David Cameron and his coalition 'really created one million private sector jobs?' Clearly something they had boasted of.
But when the numbers were crunched, and the analysis scrutinized, the million jobs was only true if you used the Hudakian theory of mathematics. You just make stuff up.
Stephen Harper uses the theory, when he boasts that his government has created a million jobs. Remove the Hudakian component from the computation, and the results are staggeringly different, as graphs from Press Progress reveal.
We are actually down 638,810 jobs. Harper must have thrown a bit of Rob Ford Haze into the mix, a dangerous and potentially lethal combination.
Another Conservative, Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbot, believes that Cameron and Harper are amateurs. Why stop at one million, when you can promise to double that? After all, it doesn't have to be true. You just have to sell it with conviction.
Before being elected, under the headline: Fact checker: Can Tony Abbott create two million jobs in a decade? we learn that there is a whole lot of wishful thinking wrapped up in conservative bluster, but it seems to have worked.
However, doesn't his election promise sound a lot like that of Hudak's? Freaky.
Of course American Conservatives can't let any of them show up their nonsense. Under an L.A Times headline in response to Obama's employment strategy, they promised to create five million jobs. No time frame though for their Million Jobs Plan.
We know that Tim Hudak visited members of the U.S. Tea Party for insight, so would it be a stretch to imagine that Cameron, Abbot and Harper sat down for a spot of the brew?
Although, actually, I see them all in a cave, sacrificing a liberal on an altar, while dancing around a pot of steaming crude and rusty nails, chanting:
Double, Double, Toil and Trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Give us a slogan, the best selection
To fool them all in the next election.
I think they need a new potion, because this one is just making us ill.